I've been feeling a little off balance lately.
It could be the fluctuating pregnancy hormones. It could be work responsibilities and struggles. It could be I feel like I haven't had time for my marriage. It could be that I haven't sat and read a book to my kid in who knows how long. It could be that everywhere I look there's more sickness and death and mourning and struggle and loss.
It could be fear. I'm not entirely sure yet.
So this morning, I walked into the office, lit some candles, put on my new favorite chill playlist and started reading.
My only agenda was to be refreshed.
Whenever I'm doing a no agenda Bible read, I usually start with a passage I know will refocus me and then read the chapter before or the chapter after. Or both.
Today, I read before. The passage I started with was a verse I memorized as a child:
"Fear not for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
As a child, this verse brought me comfort in both dire and silly situations. It is my life line.
So I started there and then read one chapter back. Isaiah 40; a chapter that goes in deep about God's comfort for His people, His promises and how they'll never waiver, and then into His greatness.
It's as if He knows our human minds and tendencies toward doubt and therefore validates Himself, probably unnecessarily, to remind us, again, who He is.
I read verse one. Verse two. Verse three, four, five, six. Verse seven and eight. Nine and ten.
I didn't know what I was looking for. All I asked for was a word. A word that would comfort whatever felt off balance. A word that would remind me of what mattered.
And then verse eleven.
"God will tend His flock like a shepherd, He will gather the lambs in His arms; He will carry them in his bosom and gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11
Like jumping into a crisp lake on a blazing, humid, hot Summer day, I got my word (words, really) and my soul was refreshed.
Why? I found myself asking. Why do you just show up like that when we ask?
It's simple really, He replied. Because I love you.
He loves us. All of us. He wants us to ask Him and He will give. He wants us to seek Him and He will be found, pouring out love, security, peace and joy in our hearts, minds, and souls.
So Jules, and any other girl, wife, mama, student, woman who needs them, here are your words:
- God is a God of action. He tends, carries, gathers, leads.
- The actions begin with Him. Alone. He initiates movement.
- His people are His responsibility. Not yours. You show up, but He moves them.
- The burden is His. He carries. You support.
- He sees you, young mom of toddlers. He sees your babies and He sees that you have no idea what you're doing. He will teach you. Trust Him again today.
- His mode of operation with His children is gentleness. Always.
My family is taken care of. My work situations are taken care of. My home is taken care of. My friends and family struggling with life and health and love are taken care of. There's no need to fear as long as my eyes and ears are open to how He's asking me to step in.
Anybody else need that today? Just me? Ok :)
"And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19