You are scared. You are fearful. You feel shame and guilt and anger. You feel mistreated and betrayed by those who made a commitment of trust, friendship and care to you and your family.
And that's okay. Your feelings, they're valid. More than valid.
You're doing the best you can, and despite what they may say my dear, that is good enough.
I know there are many who wish they could fight this battle for you. We want to ride in on our white horses and slash all misconception, speculation, judgement and fear from the equation of your life. We want to comfort and protect the exposed parts of you and bandage up the wounds caused by those who were supposed to be your family of sorts.
But we can't. It kills us that we can't. We can't because we know God is revving up to what some might call a breakthrough. You are a liaison for change, a representative of grace. And my sweet friend, your family is going to change this world.
So count it joy, my sister, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.* Don't confuse this one however, with happiness for the pain. Don't count the trial joy, for there is nothing joyous about the heartbreak you are experiencing. The joy comes only from the aftermath we know it will produce and from Whom we know will produce it.
And let steadfastness, or perseverance, have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.* You are being made like Christ, for though He suffered much, He did so because we, His Church, His people, were worth it.
You will experience rest again. (Matthew 11:28-29)
Your girl will feel joy again. (Psalm 30:5)
Your family will see redemption and wholeness. (Romans 3:24-26)
That is a promise given to you by an almighty God. He's never broken a promise to His people and He won't start now.