My heart is full this morning, reflecting on the heritage and journey God has brought us through so far. And I don't mean "us" like just me and Ty. I mean "us" as in our families, grandparents and all. The Hallworth + Morlet lineage has weathered many storms thus far and to see where God has allowed Ty and I to be is, well, a bit overwhelming.
I knew this Mother's Day would be different than the last. How could it not be? This morning, it seems as though even my internal alarm clock decided to change it up. The pregnant girl who wakes up between 9:30 and 10:00 each morning, sprung out of bed at 6:30 to the sound of birds warming up their tiny vocal chords as if they were readying for some sort of anthem.
As I (almost) skipped to the kitchen, unpeeled my banana, I had these three thoughts on repeat:
1. I love my mom.
Not like, awe how sweet, I love my mom. But more like, I could never do life without this spit-fire woman in my life. I need her. She brings so wisdom and grace (and sometimes a kick in the butt) to every situation. She is irreplaceable to me. Irreplaceable.
2. I want to be like her.
Some girls may cringe at the though of being anything remotely like their own moms. But if I could choose one thing about my momma that has shaped me the most, as a women and a soon-to-be-mother, it would be her vulnerability through imperfection. My mom isn't perfect and she's made a lot of bonehead mistakes in her life, but she never tried to hide them. She never attempted to set a false standard of perfection for her family. She lives her life based on grace alone because she knows, oh she knows, it's vitality. I want to do that.
3. I am a mother.
This killed me. Even now I weep, because as a woman named Hannah prayed year in and year out for the promise of a child, I prayed for this baby girl snuggled so tightly in my womb. All I've said to her for the past two hours is, "You're here baby girl. You're finally here and I love you so much."
365 days ago I knew life would be different; but not this wonderful, magical, surreal kind of different.
The birds singing outside have settled into a rhythmic song of chirp & coo's, having no idea their music is the soundtrack for the celebration that is happening in this weary heart.