Every Tuesday night I have a group of married girls [both newly married and seasoned wifeys] come to my house for food and study. These are the sweetest girls you'll ever meet and they are even sweeter wives to their lucky duck husbands. Each of us are so different; we come from different backgrounds, different lifestyles, different hobbies and gifts, but when we get together it is like we are the same. I think it is because we have the same mission: To be the wife God has called us to be for our husbands.
We are going through a book right now called The Sacred Influence and it is quite good. It is a book for wives written by a husband...cool eh? I mean we have books a plenty on being wives that are written by wives, but I have never read one by a man. He is very thorough and detailed proving that he understands "Woman Language" : )
A couple weeks ago we were discussing certain things we tend to do when communication in marriage goes sour. He is not understanding what I am saying, needing, wanting, asking. What are our tendencies? Or in other words, how do we make our husbands crazy? Thinking that I'd be alone in this, I shared a story about what my tendencies are. When Ty and I are having a "quarrel" [aka. a fight] right before bed time, he pushes to resolve before we go to bed. Most times this works, but sometimes it doesn't. On those times that it doesn't I end up laying awake in bed, fuming in my mind, thinking up a million other conversations we need to have. Turns out that guys, on the other hand, can fall asleep when they are mad. So to prevent him from doing so and to let him know I am still awake and upset, I do any and/or all of the following:
-shift non-stop so he can't fall asleep.
-slightly pull all the covers on to my side.
-breathe really heavily.
-turn on the light and read in bed [that way he really can't fall asleep].
Now, I know none of you have ever done this before. I just know it. :) BUT for those of us that have, as funny as it is to talk about it now, it is so wrong. I confessed this to my group and they all laughed and said they do similar things! What is it about women? So we decided that next time any of us is in bed angry at our beloveds, we would call or text the others for accountability [whether or not we were right of wrong].
Well, a week later Ty and I had had a disagreement that could have turned into a monstrous late night argument, but [totally against my natural impulse] we agreed to disagree, I turn the light out and grabbed my phone to text the girls. This is what I wrote:
"Hey girls! I'm laying in bed, frustrated at Ty but I'm not turning and tossing! :) "
Then the amazing happened: one by one I started getting texts that made me laugh and appreciate my dear friends. I gave Ty a kiss on the head and smiled myself to sleep. You see, we need each other. We all need friends, but not just friends that will tell us what we want to hear when we want to hear it. Those are not friends.
We need friends that will keep us accountable.
Friends that will tell us when we are wrong.
Friends that we can call or text in the moment of uncertainty.
Friends that can pray for us or be there for us in a moments notice.
Friends that point to the Word of God before they give you their opinion.
Those are friends and I am so glad I have them.
"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
-"Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
but an enemy multiplies kisses."
Who do you have in your life that is this kind of friend to you?